Dear Santa
I know it’s been a long time since I last wrote to you (thanks for the Atari console and chopper bike btw) but there are a few things I would really like this year that I just can’t buy in the shops or on Amazon for that matter (what a letdown that launch was – although I now have enough cheap dishwasher tablets to last a lifetime).
What I would like for Christmas is….
1) A self-writing construction site diary.
It’s a real chore filling in a site diary every day. Yes, I know a detailed / accurate diary will increase the chances of success of my contractual claims by >100% and that a diary is one of the best forms of record going but it’s much more fun using those 15 minutes to read facebook or play clash of clans on my phone.
2) A Magic Calculator
It’s really annoying but Clients keep rejecting my claims for more money. I think it is because I always calculate them using the same formula
Claim value = Actual cost incurred – agreed contract sum
What I need is a calculator that can prepare more advanced formulae and ideally produce the records to back them up, although the self-writing diary should help with this.
3) An Inflammatory Email Filter.
I don’t know about you Santa, but I just can’t help myself when a work email comes in from my opposite number (think naughty elf) I just have to return serve straight away with added topspin. I know I that I almost always immediately regret it and it does nothing to improve relations between us so if you could provide me with software that delays sending of these emails by one hour and forces me to re-read them first that would be great.
4) Contract Translation Glasses
Is it me or do lawyers deliberately draft contracts in a way that only they can understand and with hidden traps guaranteed to provide them with a constant stream of dispute resolution work? It would be very helpful if you could give me some glasses that allow me to read contracts in plain English and highlight everything I need to do to comply with them (they will also need to be able to magnify small print).
5) A new standard relationship based construction contract
On the subject of contracts, it would be great if there was a new standard form of contract that focused on improving relationships between all the parties and encouraged innovation and dispute avoidance. I know there is the New Engineering Contract (NEC) which is used very successfully in the UK and overseas but for some reason it is not used much here in Australia. Maybe you could just rebadge it as AS 11000 and hope nobody notices?
As I know some of these wishes will be a push to fulfil (even for you and your talented elves), I would settle instead for you leaving some of my business cards with anyone who requests similar presents this year as I will be able to help them out.
Oh….and when handing out my cards ……if you could relax your rule about not visiting anyone who has been naughty that would be good because unlike you I can’t afford to be that picky!
Yours faithfully
Little Big Jonny Davies